Ayaw

Ayaw ko nang lumapit sa iyo.
Ayaw kong makipag-usap sa tao.
Ayaw ko nang kumain ng hapunan.
Ayaw ko nang pumasok kinabukasan.
Ayaw ko nang gumalaw sa kama.
Ayaw ko nang makita ang iyong pagmumukha.
Ayaw kong tumawid ng kalsada.
Ayaw ko nang gumising pa.

Umaayaw na ako sa utak ko.
Pero ayaw ko nang umayaw.

let me die

can i die i want to die can i die please let me die i don’t deserve to live i want to die can i die can i please just die i can have a lot of ways to die i can suddenly let myself drown in this misery i call life can i die and take this pen as a knife can i die by your hand so at least i can still be alive slowly from the dead i come back to life and haunt your merry ways — no i cannot allow myself to do that i just want to die i want to disappear from this world i want to not exist what if while i’m typing this suddenly i disappear suddenly i don’t exist what if i suddenly die before typing the last